


I Swear I'll Never Forget

by lulu0917



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Breakup, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Car rides, Death, F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt, Love, Moving On, Pain, Songfic, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29254542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulu0917/pseuds/lulu0917
Summary: Piper realizes she's making a huge mistake hanging out with Shel, as Jason will be the only one for her heart.Her broken heart.Her shattered heart.Her pained heart.Because he's dead.Piper feels as if her soul was ripped out of her.She feels as if there's an iron grip on her heart.She just misses him so much—she doesn't know how to move on.She doesn't even know if she wants to.She just wants him alive.But life is cruel.And so are the people in it.
Relationships: Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Piper/Shel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	I Swear I'll Never Forget

**I don't own the characters or song, sadly. Enjoy!**

* * *

Piper felt tears gather in her eyes as the next song in Shel's playlist began. The two were in Shel's car, going back to Piper's home.

_Another day_

_Without your smile_

Four months. It's been four months without seeing his smile.

_Another day_

_Just passes by_

Days were passing by and Piper was drowning deeper and deeper, slowly losing her grasp on the world.

_But now I know_

_How much it means_

_For you to stay_

_Right here with me_

Oh, how she wished Jason were with her.

Piper took notice of how she thought that without any guilt, even though her girlfriend was sitting beside her, humming to the song.

_The time we spend apart will make our love grow stronger_

_But it hurts so bad I can't take it any longer_

Tears streamed down Piper's face. The love was one-sided. He probably hated her for causing him the heartbreak, even if he was dead. And, the pain. Oh, the pain was horrid. When her father was captured by those giants, she didn't feel hurt anywhere near this.

_I wanna grow old with you_

_I wanna die lying in your arms_

How she wished she died instead of him. She woke up screaming for him many nights, her nightmares filled with his parchment-pale skin, lifeless finger still pointing.

_I wanna grow old with you_

_I wanna be looking in your eyes_

Piper recalled how all those years ago she visualized herself and Jason revisiting their adventures with their grandchildren. Both their hair graying, wrinkles on their faces, yet he still would look handsome. His blue eyes wouldn't lose their shine. Not ever.

_I wanna be there for you_

_Sharing in everything you do_

_I wanna grow old with you_

She longed to share a home with him. She longed to share her love with him. She longed to share a bed with him. She longed to share a grave with him. She longed to share jokes with him. She longed to share secrets with him. She longed to share children with him. She longed to share a life with him. She longed for her Sparky.

_A thousand miles_

_Between us now_

Miles deep into the Earth.

He was in a grave, she was in a car.

_It causes me_

_To wonder how_

_Our love tonight_

_Remains so strong_

She couldn't speak on behalf of him, but she just now realized; she still loved Jason. She wondered, could she be with Shel if she was still mourning her love?

_It makes our risk_

_Right all along_

She would risk anything to just have him back. Piper swallowed a sob, watching in a blur as they passed trees and houses.

_The time we spend apart will make our love grow stronger_

_But it hurts so bad I can't take it any longer_

Sometimes, the pain was so bad, she would go several weeks without eating well. She would barely sleep at night, and spend her days exhausted, emotionally and physically. She was drained.

_I wanna grow old with you_

_I wanna die lying in your arms_

_I wanna grow old with you_

_I wanna be looking in your eyes_

_I wanna be there for you_

_Sharing in everything you do_

_I wanna grow old with you_

Piper hastily wiped at her face as the verses repeated.

_Things can come and go I know but_

_Baby I believe_

Lives can come and go. The thought brought more tears to her eyes.

_Something's burning strong between us_

_Makes it clear to me_

The only thing between them now was the earth's soil, a coffin, and her love for him, maybe his for her.

_I wanna grow old with you_

_I wanna die lying in your arms_

_I wanna grow old with you_

_I wanna be looking in your eyes_

_I wanna be there for you_

_Sharing in everything you do_

_I wanna grow old with you_

She wanted Jason. She couldn't have Shel. This was a mistake. A big, big, mistake.

_I wanna die lying in your arms_

_I wanna grow old with you_

_I wanna be looking in your eyes_

_I wanna be there for you_

_Sharing in everything you do_

_I wanna grow old with you_

"Shel, stop the car! Now!" Piper turned around in her seat as the vehicle halted at the side of the road.

Shel's black hair whipped around her face as she twisted to face Piper. She frowned in concern, "Piper, why are you crying? What's wrong?" She reached a hand out to wipe her tears, but when Piper flinched back, hurt flashed across her face.

"Shel, I swear, you are the closest person to me right now, and you've been there for me after I lost Jason. And you've always helped me when I missed him, but, I just realized, I'm still in love with him, Shel," Piper hiccuped.

Shel's shoulders slumped, but a tender look settled on her features. "Was it the song?"

Piper nodded, confused. "Piper, don't you worry. I understand, to be honest, I was kind of waiting for this. I'm not upset." Shel smiled genuinely.

"You—you're not mad?"

"No, Piper, of course not! I get it, he was your first love, and as of now your last. It's okay to still feel that love, even if he's dea—gone."

More tears fell down Piper's face. "I just miss him so damn much, Shel. My world's been ripped apart, I want him. I _need_ him. I can't go on without him."

"Shh, it's okay. It's all going to be okay. This will pass, I promise." Shel hugged Piper to her as best as she could with the driving stick between them.

Piper sobbed, the feeling familiar, as she thought of her friends at Camp Half-Blood. Of the day Jason woke up on the bus, his memory wiped. When he saved her at the Grand Canyon. When he called her a knockout when she was claimed. When he helped set her ankle in Detroit. When they went to Camp Jupiter together, and he took that stupid brick to his head defending her. When they almost drowned and confessed their love for one another. When he helped save her dad and consoled her after his memory was wiped. Their first kiss. Their first time being intimate; and to this day she swore he would be her last as he was her first. When they defeated Gaea and celebrated. When they snuggled up on the roof, announcing their fresh new start. When they spent a month together looking for Leo. And when she ruined it all by breaking up with him. Just because she felt scared and insecure about herself. And when he hid the prophecy from her, when he carried her in the air one last time, and when he died, sacrificing himself for her.

"Piper, listen to me." Piper looked up at Shel, wiping her tears. "Just because we aren't together, it doesn't mean you can't come talk to me about him. I want to be there for you."

Piper's body shook with another sob, "Everything reminds me of him. Whenever there's a thunderstorm. Or a freaking brick. Or anyone with blue eyes. Or blond hair. Anyone with a scar on their face. Anyone who is brave, or smart, or so, so damn handsome. Anyone kind. And gentle, and intimidating, and funny. I just don't know what to do!"

"I'll tell you what to do. One, wipe your tears because if it were him in front of you, he wouldn't want you crying," Shel raised a brow.

"Right," Piper breathed, brushing at her face furiously.

"Now, if Jason were here, right now, what would he tell you to do?"

"He—um, he would tell me to remember him. And to continue loving him. And to stop being sad when I think of him, and to remember our good times together." Piper sniffed.

Shel smiled, "I think he would also tell you to be happy."

Piper whimpered, holding back a sob, "I want to be. I really do. But I can't without him here, with me."

"Well, take your time mourning, but remember, eventually, you'll need to pick yourself up and move on. How about you contact your friends from that camp you met him at?"

Piper smiled at the thought of talking to Annabeth and Percy. She ignored all their calls and texts since she returned. It would do her well to reconnect. "Okay," She nodded.

"You got this. You're a McLean, after all."

"I wish I was a Grace," Piper murmured, looking out the window.

"Just remember, life is always going to keep moving. Jason is always going to want the best for you. He's happy now, he doesn't have to suffer through the cruelties of life. He'll want you to be happy, too."

"Yes, he's in a better place," Piper agreed, nodding. "But I still love him. And a part of me always will. As long as I live, I will never forget Jason Grace. I swear it on every god and goddess ever worshipped. I swear it on my love for him."

Piper would continue to cry, and scream for him to come back to her, and regret breaking up with him. Except this time, she'd welcome the pain. She'd let it engulf her, possess her, until she could learn to fight it. She'd always love Jason; she knew there would be nobody else for her. He was her other half, and would be until even after she went cold in her own grave. She would reunite with him in Elysium. She'd go on more quests to raise the chance of her death; she'll get to him faster. That's how she'll escape the pain. Because it was too much for her to take. She _would_ find her Sparky once again.

Soon, Jason Grace. Soon.


End file.
